By God’s Grace
Only by God’s grace have I accomplished publishing not only my memoir but its accompanying music CD all in one year. Now you’d think that I would be on cloud nine having successfully accomplished my goals this year and this must be an incredible year for me. Well, it was an incredible year in many ways. But it was also an incredibly painful year in many other ways. Since the book was first uploaded to Book Baby for publication it has felt as though I have been under some kind of unrelenting attack physically, mentally, financially and yes, even spiritually. In truth, I believe I have been. I have been battling those ‘principalities and powers’ that St. Paul told us our real battle was with. Why? That’s simple. I want to bring souls to the Lord.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12
I’ve always believed this book and ministry were the work of the Holy Spirit and I’m merely the instrument. Although I don’t speak about my devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Blessed Sacrament often on this blog, I am deeply devoted to both. Long ago I consecrated this book and my work to the Sacred Heart. In that prayer I ask that the suffering be lifted up and through this work that they may see His face, feel His presence and experience His love. But I always – always end it with one of my heart’s greatest desires – Lord, help me to bring souls to come to know and love Your Sacred Heart as I do. And that – my wanting to bring souls to the Lord, is why I believe the enemy has sent his hell hounds in an attempt to destroy me this year.
Now I am not going to give those pesky demon hounds any glory by sharing the multitude of ways they’ve attacked my family or me personally this year. Let’s just say, it’s been a really, really hard year. What I am going to say is, that in spite of all they’ve dished out, by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit the work prevails! Will you say with me, “Praise God!”
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
From reviews and personal encounters, I know the book is selling and finding the heart and souls the Holy Spirit wants to touch. The music CD: Songs of Praise and Worship Inspired By The Memoir Little Girl Crying, is now a reality. (Stayed tuned because I’ll soon be releasing info on how you can listen to songs and purchase a copy). God’s grace is upon this work, and it will continue no matter how much the enemy protests. But sometimes, maybe more often than I’d like to admit, I find myself greatly struggling emotionally and mentally under the strain of the enemies attacks. Then something amazing happens and the Lord shows me in a concrete way that this work is and will make a difference. That I’m on the right path. That doors are opening. That something amazing this weekend was an incredible review I received for the book from Father James Kubicki, S.J.
I have been a fan of Father Kubicki’s work since I first discovered his mission to spread/renew devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus throughout the world. He was also for a long time the national director of the Apostleship of Prayer; a worldwide association of Catholics and other Christians who strive to make their ordinary, everyday lives apostolically effective. So, when I reached out asking him to read the book and give his comments, I was in no way prepared for the incredible review he would one day write. Today, I want to share this review with all of you. Not because I’m boasting, but because I want to give glory to God’s grace and the power of the Holy Spirit’s victories in the face of this year’s spiritual battle.
Every one of us fight a spiritual battle in some way every single day of our lives. That’s a fact. But if you love the Lord with every fiber of your being, consciously choose to be the Lord’s disciple, and work diligently to fulfill His will daily, you seem to be picking a much bigger fight with the enemy. Just look to the Twelve Disciples and the persecution and opposition they faced! But God has a plan for each of us, and I believe this work is His plan for me. I also believe His plan and this work by God’s grace, will not be thwarted by the enemies attacks on me or my family. How can the enemy win when I can claim the power of the Blood of Jesus, I have the power of Holy Spirit leading, and I’m doing battle with my secret spiritual weapon the Rosary? Some days I may falter and fall, but I will get back up again for God is with me, His grace sustains me, and His Spirit is leading my way.
In Christ’s love,
So here then is the beautiful review Father Kubicki left on his own blog yesterday. I’ll also leave you links below to find out more about him and his work. Thank you again Father Kubicki. So very humbled and honored by this incredible review.
When I was given a copy of the book “Little Girl Crying” by Belinda Rose I was intimidated. Not by the subject: anorexia nervosa and how the author came to complete healing through prayer. I was intimidated by its length. I wondered how I could squeeze in the time for this large book in the midst of my busy life. I can honestly report that finding time was not a problem. This book reads like a thriller but instead of “who done it?” the question in this fast-paced account of the causes and the struggle of anorexia is “how will she ever come out of it?” In the course of 450 pages I came to a better understanding of anorexia and more. Let me highlight three other lessons that can be learned by reading “Little Girl Crying.”
First, the struggle with anorexia nervosa is a paradigm for all human struggle. Deep down, in every human being, there is a hunger, a hunger to be loved, a longing to know that one is lovable. Human loves can satisfy that hunger for a while but they do not ultimately fulfill us, for, as St. Augustine wrote: “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” We are made with a hunger for an infinite love that no finite, human love can satisfy. Only God’s love can because God is an infinite love by nature. Until the author discovered this truth through contemplative prayer she continued a self-destructive cycle of binge eating and purging, always convinced that she was fat and unlovable even at 70 lbs.! Whatever one does or does not do to fill the hunger for God will fail unless God is the object of one’s desire.
Secondly, I was reminded of another book, “Legacy of the Heart: The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood” by Wayne Muller. As a drought forces the roots of a tree to go deeper or the tree will die, so the struggles of childhood can lead one to sink deeper roots. Deeper into what? One’s relationship with God, certainly, but also into one’s relationships with others. Belinda Rose’s struggles ultimately led her into deeper relationships with her three sons, her mother, and others who struggled with psychological illnesses. From deep pain can come, with God’s saving grace, greater compassion and more joy, so much so that Rose can say, like many in 12 Step Recovery Programs, she is ultimately grateful for how her disease led her to these deeper relationships.
Thirdly, one of the key elements of healing is forgiveness. Past hurts can leave one bitter. But bitter unforgiveness and resentment are the fuel that drives the engine of addictions and anorexia. When it is not dealt with, emotional hurt festers and grows, morphing into an anger which, for those who feel vulnerable and helpless, is turned in on itself. It’s been said that resentment is like drinking from a bottle of poison and hoping that the person who hurt us will die. As she began to deal with the painful memories that stoked her disease, Rose developed empathy. A key moment came when she began to understand what led her father to hurt her as he had done. She learned the truth that “hurt people hurt people.” She prayed and forgave and healed. In time she learned to imitate Jesus in his redemptive suffering. Jesus–totally innocent–was hurt and abused. He suffered terribly but offered his suffering as a powerful prayer to the Father and saved the world. Rose learned to use her sufferings for others as Jesus did.
I highly recommend “Little Girl Crying” in order to understand anorexia nervosa and so much more. Its lessons are universal, for hurt and the need for healing–both individually and globally–are universal.
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