Our Battle Is Spiritual
Our battle in this life is spiritual. If you don’t believe me then you only need to read the words of the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 6:11-12, to understand with clarity the reality of the spiritual battle around us. Knowing this then we as Christians also know that this battle is best fought on our knees in prayer. But what are we to do when the enemy has worn us down to a place where prayer becomes difficult, if not impossible? Have you ever found yourself in this place?
I have been there many times in my life. Sometimes the cross I carry becomes to heavy, and weary from the fight, I’ve given in to discouragement, hopelessness, despair. Exhaustion takes over, and sometimes the only prayer I have been able to utter is: “Lord, save me.” More than once in my ongoing emotional and mental battle, I’ve found myself in head-to-head combat with my greatest adversary of all: the spirit of suicide. It is then the spiritual battle becomes ever so real for me. It is time to choose. I can fight, or I can die and let the enemy win. Fortunately, there is the stubborn part of me that manages to muster the courage to fight back. I believe that part of me is the Lord at work answering my simple, but prayerful plea, “God save me!”
So, I battle. It’s often a fierce battle, too. I cry. I get angry. I scream at the enemy. At times, I even scream at God. But the thing is, even though I may wonder if God is hearing me in that moment, after the storm has passed I see how He was with me on the front line. How do I know? I know because I didn’t follow through with harming myself because something always seems to happen in the midst of the battle that pulls me back thus changing the entire scenario.
Recently, I found myself once more fighting the spirit of suicide. Unable to cope in that moment I got in my car and left home only to find myself sitting in a remote parking lot with a bottle of pills, a bottle of water, and a whole lot of pain and tears. I had decided to call home one last time to talk to my middle son who I knew had been upset that evening by the chain of events at home. You see, he too fights an emotional/mental battle of his own. My husband told me he had walked out. It was nearly midnight, and he had simply taken off walking to who knows where in a bad state of mind. That woke me out of my stupor to think of something more than my own pain. You see, there’s one thing that’s always taken precedence in my life over anything; my kids. The Mom in me kicked in. I love my boys more than life itself. So, I immediately got worried. My first thought was I had to go find him. My second thought was if this evening had played out as tragically as it could have what would that mean for him?
I found my son walking and already several blocks from home. I stopped and picked him up, and the two of us headed back to the parking lot for a long Mother-son conversation. It calmed us both down. We both came back to reality. We had won our battle that evening because the Lord intervened. I believe that thought to call home to find out my son’s life could be in peril as well was a divine intervention of sorts. It was God working through people and events to diffuse the situation and help me find my victory that night. It was God reminding me I have something bigger than myself to live for.
Each of us wage a daily spiritual battle. Some days that battle is more ferocious than others. Sometimes we are too tired, too exhausted, too depressed, or too whatever to pray as we normally might. It is then that a simple, but profound and heartfelt utterance of, “God save me!” is really all that’s required. God already knows our heart and our pain. Just a small plea for help will reach His ears like incense spiraling up into the Heavens. The Lord will answer that earnest plea for help from one of His struggling children just as the Mom in me went to rescue her son. The Lord will come to our aide sending the help we need in the moment. He will give us the strength, the courage, the hope, the reason we need to put one foot in front of the other tomorrow. Speaking for myself I can say, I am weak, but He is strong. I fall, but He picks me back up. I want to give up, but He gives me reasons why that isn’t an option! I say I am not loved, but He says,” No, not true. I love you!” Sometimes those dark moments seem impossible to get through. Sometimes in those dark moments of our lives God truly is all there is to cling to. But in the end that proves to be all we really need to face a new day. Following Jesus, and being Christian is not about being perfect, or falling down, or even failing. Even the great Saints fell. But they got back up, and that is the great lesson in their lives for us. This too is what we are called to do … get back up. Fight another day. Never, ever give up, even when that seems to be what we most want to do.
We are all soldiers in this spiritual war, and our enemy uses our suffering as his weapon to take us down. See your suffering for what it is – part of the spiritual battle. See yourself for who you are; a soldier for God. When you find prayer, your greatest weapon in the battle difficult, if not impossible, take heart. It might not seem like it in the moment, but it doesn’t take much to make the enemy flee. A simple plea asking for God’s help or calling on the name of Jesus is all you need to win your immediate battle. Why? Because Jesus has already won the war for us. He won the victory on Calvary. We already play for the winning side. Don’t ever allow the enemy to let you forget that!
In Christ’s Love, Belinda2
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